English health experts are warning that over-use of the Blackberry for texting can lead to thumb pain.

Seriously. (My daughter failed to identify this anime nanny, but it's Hisu, Princess Allura's nanny on Voltron: Defender of the Universe. I was surprised, too -- I thought she had the cast list memorized.)

Fortunately, we have some other unofficial health warnings, from the home office:

• If you walk off a curb without looking, you're liable to trip, maybe even fall.
• If you eat a lot of food on an empty stomach, like all at once, you're bound to end up with a tummy ache.
• If you stare at your PC screen all day and half the night, you are going to get a headache.
• If you type for many hours a day without properly propping up your arms your wrists are going to hurt.
• If you keep doing that you're going to go blind. Well, sore anyway.
• If you're at the Super Bowl this Sunday and your team is winning and you yell your lungs out, you're going to be hoarse.
• If you're at the Super Bowl this Sunday and your team is losing and you try to drown your troubles, you're going to be drunk.
• If you drive drunk you're a hazard. Hand a sober friend the keys, even if they were rooting for the winning team. At least you won't have to listen to them yelling at the traffic, because of the hoarseness. (And because you'll have passed out.)
• If you inhale a lot of smoke from any source -- a fire, a cigarette, second-hand, whatever -- you're going to cough.
• If you run into a brick wall it's going to hurt.
• If you wait until the last minute to do your work it's not going to get done right.
• If you don't brush your teeth they are going to fall out.
• If you don't know any better my yelling at you ain't gonna help.

Oh, and if you keep staring at your cell phone and can't read the screen and you're over 40, consider bifocals.

Thank you and be safe out there.