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January 31, 2004
The Grinch who Turned Down Testimonials
Posted by David Weinberger
I have problems with
Orkut and other such e-friendship networks because they make binary the most analog of relationships. But I
really hate testimonials. I am neurotically compliment-averse to begin with but encouraging people to write little paragraphs praising one another cannot help but spawn an Economy of Bullshit.
What makes it worse is that the couple of testimonials I've gotten (and declined) have been from actual friends who thoughtfully crafted paragraphs that meant something to them and to me. And then I slam the door on them.
I wish Orkut would make this less awkward by letting participants opt out of receiving testimonials.
Comments (9)
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1. Cory Doctorow on January 31, 2004 11:56 AM writes...
Right arm. The first duty of a socsoft application should be to not create new bad social situations. First, do no harm.
Permalink to Comment2. Tim Bishop on February 1, 2004 5:28 AM writes...
David,
Perhaps you can be the person who explains to me, what do people get out of these artificially created social networks? Maybe I am just thick, or anti-social, or both, but I don't get it.
Looking forward to hearing you at the digital democracy conference.
Thanks,
Permalink to Comment3. Jeff Axup on February 1, 2004 7:53 AM writes...
Testimonials might be awkward in some contexts, but I think you're undervalueing the fact that this is an attempt towards enhancing social cohesion in groups. When I first got on Friendster I got some amazing testimonials from good old friends I hadn't seen f2f in years. Maybe I'm egotistical (I doubt I'm the only one), but they were special to me. I re-read them when I logged back in. I felt more warmth towards those old friends. In some cases they told me things they liked about me that they'd never told me face to face. Even if the testimonials thing isn't constructed quite right, it is a step towards creating interfaces that help people feel good about themselves and form stronger relationships with others. Instead of hacking the idea to bits, perhaps we could brainstorm an interface to do it better?
Permalink to Comment4. David Weinberger on February 1, 2004 10:54 AM writes...
Jeff, I do have a brainstorm about how to make the testimonials feature work better: Let people opt out of 'em.
Permalink to Comment5. David Weinberger on February 1, 2004 10:57 AM writes...
Tim, What do people get out of these artificial social networks? The answer is going to have to be as broad as human motivation. But I'm pretty sure that if they turn out to have enduring value, it won't be as what the designers intended. It will be something that emerges.
For me, personally, right now: They require maintenance but provide no value. But, I'm not very social to begin with.
Permalink to Comment6. metamanda on February 1, 2004 1:30 PM writes...
David, I can see where you're coming from, but I agree with Jeff. I, for one, don't say anything in my testimonials that I don't mean. And I haven't received many that I thought sounded insincere... and since it's coming from people I know, I feel fairly secure in my judgments of sincerity. (Perhaps, I'm wrong to feel that way?) I tend to err on the side of caution when giving compliments, which is a double edged sword. On one hand, I don't give bullshit compliments. On the other hand, sometimes I don't give them where they're deserved. Testimonials allow me to tell my friends that I care about them because I don't have to do it face to face, and *ostensibly* the testimonial is written to other people about my friend. They can clarify a binary relationship, because it often becomes evident how well you know someone from the testimonial. And some folks who have a playful relationship with their friends end up with some truly hilarious testimonials that reflect that.
However, I think I'm fairly insensitive to social pressure. I don't always reciprocate a testimonial, and I don't get mad if someone doesn't reciprocate one of mine. So I'm happily oblivious to a lot of things that you might see as an irritant.
Permalink to Comment7. Tim Bishop on February 1, 2004 9:50 PM writes...
David,
Permalink to CommentThanks for responding. Perhaps my problem in seeing their value is because I am similarly constructed -- I'm not that social either, especially with people I don't know.
8. David Weinberger on February 2, 2004 1:31 AM writes...
Tim, you know people? What's that like?
:)
Permalink to Comment9. Jeff Axup on February 2, 2004 6:38 AM writes...
David, 'opting out' is not an enhancement of an interface to encourage stronger social bonds to form, it is an interface to avoid stronger social bonds. I agree that increased social grace and control over communication methods would be in SNSs interest. In some fashion, our social exchanges will be mediated and assisted by technology in the future (it already is to some extent.) For that to happen people have to agree to agree to use the tech, and to participate in making it useful for them. Those that refuse will presumably not be judgable by their testimonials. ;)
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